Have you ever backed down from an opportunity because you were afraid?
Have you ever felt your heart race while doing something that evoked incredible fear?
Have you ever wished you could have more COURAGE?
Maybe you have organized your entire life in a manner that guards you from facing your fears?
If you can relate to any of these statements I have some GREAT NEWS FOR YOU!
YOU CAN OVERCOME the debilitating nature of FEAR.
I am not saying you should overcome ALL FEAR. Some fear is based on the awareness of danger. Feeling afraid in the face of real danger is normal, natural and helpful. In this case learning to calm oneself is valuable.
For the remainder of this blog I want to focus on HOW TO OVERCOME DEBILITATING FEAR. This is the type of fear that inhibits us from LIVING all out in FULL EXPRESSION of our best self. There are three basic fears that I believe we all need to wage war against on a regular basis.
First, is the fear of what others will think. Second, is the fear of rejection, and third, is the fear of failure.
At the start it might appear we need a whole bunch of tools to overcome each of these fears.
The main assault weapon against FEAR is CLARITY!!
When we do the internal, personal and reflective work to gain CLARITY about WHO WE ARE, WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE and WHAT RELATIONSHIPS MATTER many of our normal everyday fears begin to lose their power. Fear lurks and does its work within chaos, confusion and conflict and is weakened in the face of CLARITY.
Much of my fear has centered around doubts, uncertainty and fear of failure. Let me illustrate: as an athlete I competed as a hockey goalie, my fear would begin to mount in the week of practice leading up to a game. I would literally obsess about whether I was playing well enough in practice to be qualified to play in the game. My mind was overcome with uncertainty, anxiety and the fear of rejection. My problem was that I had zero clarity about what I needed to do to improve or earn the right to play. I lacked any sort of clarity.
To this day I have no idea what mattered in making that decision. This was repeated weekly for the entire season. Is there any wonder why I lacked confidence, was inconsistent and riddled with anxiety? My fear flourished because of the incredible lack of CLARITY. My mind would run in so many directions that I could not keep up with the thoughts.
Today THIS is how it would be different. I would invest my energy in focusing on what MY BEST would look like (clarity). I would generate CLARITY around playing my position with excellence and mastery. This might include breaking down the position and understanding the four critical skills of mastery and focusing on my daily thoughts and actions in that direction. I would then invest my thoughts and energy in controlling what I COULD.
This has lead me to believe this:
CLARITY leads to CONSCIOUSLY DIRECTED ACTIONS aimed at MASTERY, resulting in INCREASED COURAGE and CONFIDENCE.
FEAR debilitates because it lives in the land of confusion and chaos. EVERYONE of us can do the work of CLARITY. When you commit to living from a point of CLARITY fear diminishes because its fuel source of confusion and uncertainty is diminished.
Ask yourself these critically important questions:
WHO DO I WANT TO BE?
WHO DO I WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH?
WHAT MATTERS TO ME?
In fact if you will spend time reflecting and writing about these three questions you will find a deep sense of peace, courage and focus that most lack because they have not done this work.
Does this resonate with you? Want to dig deeper into this skill with me?
I have a world-class process that leads people through (12) experiences that many have found game changing in their quest for a GREAT LIFE. If you would like to a sample ONE of these 12 EXPERIENCES for yourself, then click here to schedule your own HIGH PERFORMANCE COACHING STRATEGY SESSION with me.
This is your time to overcome your fears!